Using Core Desired Feelings to Make Decisions

Many people are familiar with values exercises that help you establish what your personal values are.  Identifying your values is helpful in getting to know yourself and what’s most important to you.  I used to use my personal values as a guide in my decision making, but it just wasn’t quite the right fit for me.  My values are health, consciousness, love, happiness, and fulfillment.  In my previous decision making process, I would consider my initial reaction, consider my values, notice if I was feeling pressured (“should”/obligation), and then schedule a time to check back in with myself to see how I was feeling then.  Although I used this process for many years, it was a bit disconnected for me because it required a lot of analysis.  Contemplating whether or not certain things aligned with my values required logic and reasoning and it often felt so complicated.  

I am definitely an emotion-led person and honoring this truth about myself has made all the difference for me.  My feelings provide a tangible and powerful knowing, they keep me open and honest to myself.  When I read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte I experienced a life changing “a-ha” moment.  Acknowledging and honoring my feelings was my truth.  The Desire Map is about knowing how you want to feel on your journey through life and realizing that at the heart of every goal or desire is a feeling.  

As a Health Coach, I help people determine their “why” so they can truly understand and make a deep connection to what they want.  The Desire Map takes the “why” and translates it into the language of our heart and soul… our feelings.  

Core desired feelings are established by determining what we want most and how that will make us feel.  If we figure out how we want to feel at work, at home, in a relationship, and then plan our goals and intentions to support us in feeling this way we have a clear and tangible way of knowing and honoring ourselves.   

When I determined my core desired feelings I was able to use them as a guide in every area of my life.  I felt such relief and freedom.  My core desired feelings are radiant, abundant, empowered, soulful, and ease.  In every decision that I make I consider these.  Will I feel radiant?  Will I feel abundant?  Will I feel empowered?  Will I feel soulful?  Will I feel ease?  If the answer is no to all of these questions then I know with certainty that saying yes will not make me feel how I want to feel.  I consider my Core Desired Feelings in small decisions like what to eat for breakfast, big decisions like moving to a new home, and even sorting through belongings (how does this shirt make me feel?).  My Core Desired Feelings are my guiding light in everything I do and my decision making has become so much easier, like a night and day difference.  The more I choose my Core Desired Feelings over my external objectives, the more content I become. 

Don’t criticize what you want.  Your desires are what will lead you home.